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Sunday, August 9, 2009

All the best

Well, i think its time for me to start off my blog. I have signed up for so long but i didn't really have anything to write about.

I just finished reading his blog, and that's what makes me feel like writing something now. I'm still listening to the music from his blog, so soft and soothing. It reminds me of a lot of the past memories that I.. Well, I'm not sure whether I want it to come into my mind or not. I have lied to myself that everything is over, but I think it's kinda obvious that it's not. I mean the memories and pain, it's still here, deep in my heart. I really want it to go away.

I'm very sure that i not having any feelings towards him now.

I'm very sure. Believe me...

It's just the pain that can't go away...

I don't understand why i have been finding for him these years, i knew there is no point finding for him. I can never get any apology nor explanation from him, because it was not his fault. I chose to love him.

I think he is leading a happy life now, doing what he likes to do, being with the people he likes. All the best to him...

Actually i shouldn't have been in any relationship with anyone before this, i wasn't mature enough to handle problems, to choose a right person for myself. So, to those people who have loved me, hurt by me, I'm so sorry.

But now, I have grown up. Well, at least I'm more mature than i was.

Okay, let's do it this way.. Since he and I lasted for only 2 weeks, and nothing actually happened, i didn't even get to touch his hand, so... I'm not gona count him as my ex, he was only my date.

The wound in my heart isn't caused by him , is myself. And the pain is so great is not because he is the guy i loved the most (the guy I love the most has not appear yet i guess, haha..), its because i wasn't mature enough to handle a relationship, so i let myself fell so badly.

I'm wondering can i don't count any of my ex-es as my ex-es, because i didn't love them, I... I'm really sorry. I didn't love them doesn't mean that i was trying to cheat their feelings and get anything beneficial from them, no.. Its because i didn't understand the meaning of love. Love is not a simple thing, if anyone could fall in love so easily, that's not love, that's only a crush. So, i had major crushes on them, and.... I'm really sorry.. I apologize.

I know there is a lot of people who really care about me, they want to know about my stories, they love me. Well, i love them too..^^ I feel very grateful to have them in my life, i can't afford to lose any of them. So, i'll live a very happy and successful life, so they do not need to worry about me. I want to let them know that i do love and care about them too..<3

But i really need time to get over this completely, and I'm sure i can do it, I'm sure i am gona get a guy 100 times better than him, haha..

Alright, that's all for my 1st post, all the best guys..

All the best.

1 comments:

◕‿◕ huiying said...

Hi, Kai Shin... HUiying here... Would you mind if I add you to my link list? ^^

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